The Mind Game Never Ends

This time last year I was in a great place as far as my fitness was concerned….and I looked fit (lean and not “fluffy”).  However, the months after last Spring began another downward spiral.  Even though I had put the time in the gym….got stronger, faster, and became a better crossfit athlete, my diet slowly dwindled back to the “old normal”.  The “old normal” was eating right all week long but totally blowing it on the weekends.  Not only was I sabotaging myself with this terrible routine, but I also let my thyroid get back out of wack, which also meant the other hormones in my body were going out of wack, too.

This past January, I knew what I needed to do…which was to regulate my body again.  Clean the gut out.  To stay consistent on my thyroid meds. Put in the hard work. AND GET RID OF THE SUGAR.  I did the 21 Day Sugar Detox and with much success, I completed it.  I lost 9.5# in 21 days.  I felt better than ever. The hormones were regulated again.  The cravings for bad food were gone.    My workouts were strong with good intensity. My pants were fitting better. The “swollen” look was going away.  I could see my muscle definition coming back.

I am now approaching a full month of clean eating and sticking to a good plan that is working for me.  I am down 11#. I feel strong. And confident again.  People are seeing the changes.  And you know when someone can tell you’re putting in the work….it makes you proud!!! So you keep at it!!!

THEN—this “mind game” begins….

So let me tell you about this roller coaster week of mine that I am having with my mind and emotions….

Monday—I am killing my workouts. I feel strong. I have a lot of energy and focus.  It was a great day…. I actually over did it on Monday; Two partner WODS. Lots of muscle up attempts. With lifting and running at home later.

Tuesday- I wake up and am soo sore.  But I get in a great hard WOD…one that kind of left me a little shaky.  **This doesn’t happen often to me, but I knew it was because my body was still recovering from Monday.

Wednesday— I decided to REST but had several classes to coach.  I began a private session with a new client of mine.  The client is a beginner to CrossFit and working out, as she is 6 weeks postpartum.  I spent 1.5 hours with her in training and getting measurements and “before” pictures done.  She was wearing baggy clothes so to get a good “before” picture, I asked her to raise her shirt to reveal only her mid-section.  I demonstrated this for her so she could mimic what I was doing.

In that brief moment, this all takes place in my head as I raise my shirt to show my stomach area:  “OH GOSH—This is my bad area. I hope she doesn’t think that’s a cross fitter’s abs?”  ***The insecurity of letting some stranger see my very worst feature were quickly frightful…..  She even looks at me with a surprised looked…and I immediately want to undo what I just did! But she totally surprises me by saying “Oh my gosh! You’re so cut! You’re abs are awesome!”—– In my little head I wanted to hug the girl.  I also wanted to laugh at her for even thinking I was remotely cut….cos I am NOT cut!!! I have so far to go to be what I and many fitness professionals would call “cut”.

But then in a few shorts seconds after that I was simply reminded that I need to be proud of where I am.  I often forget that I have done some hard work.  I have made some huge improvements.  And yes, I do have some definition in my abs now due to my handwork and commitment.  This girl saw this for a brief moment and she wanted to be where I was.  And I forgot I used to be that girl, starting all over again at ground zero.  We sometimes get so caught up in trying to achieve the “next level” that we forget to enjoy the journey and milestones along the way.  This is why we often fail….because we are never satisfied or content where we are at. Then we slowly go back to the “old normal” which takes us back to starting all over again.  I know this to be a true as I can identify this behavior in myself.  It can be sabotaging our long term goals.  But even though I am not near close to the fitness goals I have for myself….and I am so much closer now than I ever was. I am going to choose to enjoy the journey! And keep kicking butt along the way :-).